rhymes with "ouble enetration"
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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