Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
