Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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