how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just threw up on my dentist
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I didn't notice because vodka
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
