we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Randomize
