I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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