i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
well you can't waste a boner
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
