Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
