I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
