I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
did i walk over a car last night?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
