I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
