please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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