Sponge bath it is.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
