I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
