After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
