do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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