i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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