we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
