you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize