Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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