I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
