Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize