her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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