I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
