another moral hangover. fuck.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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