Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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