I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
