How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
