But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
