Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
