Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
