i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
