afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
