is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
