She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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