i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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