Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
