that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
