weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Randomize