On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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