he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
