Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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