I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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