I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
