smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
