can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
