i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
