I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
