Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
