I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
