her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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