what if every blade of grass was a penis?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize