We won't sleep together?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
