He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
I'm going back tonight
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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