I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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