I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
