Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
