So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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