I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
